Aenigma Forums
General Forums => Public Tavern => Topic started by: Dalden on 17. November 2008, 13:58:44 (01:58 PM)
-
For the geeky...
Quantum Meta-Vax 9000: Runtime libraries, reference manual:
FUNCTION fileExists
PROTOTYPE
std::pair<std::complex<float>> fileExists (const char *path);
ARGUMENTS
path - absolute or relative path to a file to test for existence.
RETURNS
A pair of complex floats, both normalized in the range (-1.0 - +1.0, -1.0i - +1.0i)
pair.first - the fractional extent to which the file exists.
pair.second - the fractional extent to which the file does not exist.
Each complex float represents a unit eigenvector in the Heisenberg
phase-space of the file.
BUGS
Under conditions of parity violation, lepton number may not be preserved.
May accidentally collapse the quantum vacuum into a lower metastable
state and destroy the universe. In this case, fileExists() will throw a
UniverseNotFound exception.
USAGE
std::pair<std::complex<float>> result;
result = fileExists ("/etc/passwd");
if ((pow (acos (imag (result.first) / real (result.first)), 2.0)
+ pow (acos (imag (result.second) / real (result.second)), 2.0)
>= 0.5)
{
cout << "Wtf?" << endl;
}
else if ((pow (acos (real (result.first) / imag (result.first)), 2.0)
+ pow (acos (real (result.second) / imag (result.second)), 2.0)
< -0.5)
{
cout << "File is at right angles to reality?" << endl;
}
else [ . . . ]