Johnny is in Grade 1 and his english teacher has problems with him. Johnny reckons he's too smart for Grade 1 and wants to be placed in Grade 3. Johnny's sister is in Grade 3 en he reckons he's much smarter than she is. His teacher has finally had enough of his antics and she takes him to the headmaster. The headmaster says he'll give Johnny a test and if he fails, he stays in Grade 1.
Headmaster: "What is 3x3?"
Johnny: "9"
Headmaster: "What is 6x6?"
Johnny: "36"
So it continues until his teacher asks the headmaster if she can't ask him a couple of language questions.
Teacher: "What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?"
Johnny: "Legs"
Teacher: "What do you have in you pants that I don't have?"
Johnny: "Pockets"
Teacher: "What starts with a C and ends with a T, is hairy, oval, delicious and contains a thin, whitish liquid?"
The headmaster wipes the sweat from his brow.
Johnny: "Coconut"
Teacher: "What goes in hard and pink and comes out soft and sticky?"
Johnny: "Bubblegum"
Teacher: "What does a man do standing up, a woman do sitting down that a dog does on three legs?"
Johnny: "Shake hands"
Teacher: "Now I'll ask some 'Who am I' sort of questions, okay?"
Johnny: "Yup"
Teacher: "You stick your pole inside me. You tie me down to get me up. I get wet before you."
Johnny: "A tent"
Teacher: "A finger goes into me. You fiddle with me when you're bored. The best man always has me first."
The headmaster is looking very tense.
Johnny: "Wedding ring"
Teacher: "I come in many sizes. When I'm not well I drip. When you blow me I feel good."
Johnny: "Nose"
Teacher: "I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with a quiver."
Johnny: "Arrow"
Teacher: "What starts with a F ends with a K that causes a lot of excitement?"
Johnny: "Firetruck"
Headmaster: "Place that little bastard in Grade 5. I got the last 10 questions all wrong!"