Topic: Random stuff I stole. copy and paste ftw (Read 7871 times)

Writdoer · « **on:** 31. August 2010, 22:09:32 (10:09 PM) »

To help better educate our men...

NINE WORDS (phrases) WOMEN USE

(1) Fine : This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

(2) Five Minutes : If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

(3) Nothing : This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.

(4) Go Ahead : This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!

(5) Loud Sigh : This isn't actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)

(6) That's Okay : This is one of the most dangerous statements a woman can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

(7) Thanks : A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say you're welcome. (I want to add in a clause here - This is true, unless she says 'Thanks a lot' - that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say 'you're welcome' . that will bring on a 'whatever').

(

Whatever : Is a woman's way of saying F-- YOU!

(9) Don't worry about it, I got it : Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's wrong?' For the woman's response refer to # 3.

response from a male was:
What a man says, and what he really means....

(1) I'm hungry - I'm hungry, make me a sandwich.
(2) I'm tired - I'm tired, make me a sandwich.
(3) Do you want to go to a movie? - I'd eventually like to have sex with you.
(4) Can I take you out to dinner? - I'd eventually like to have sex with you.
(5) Would you like to dance? - I'd eventually like to have sex with you.
(6) Can I call you sometime? - I'd eventually like to have sex with you.
(7) Nice dress! - Nice cleavage!
(

Do you want a massage? - Can I touch your boobs while eating this sandwich?
(9) What's wrong? - What meaningless, self-inflicted, psychodrama are you going through now?
(10) You look upset - I guess having sex tonight is out of the question?

Diva says:
so basically men have two states, hungry or horny - if there's no erection you need a sandwich? LOL

Writdoer · « **Reply #1 on:** 31. August 2010, 22:10:18 (10:10 PM) »

Men are Like.....

Laxatives; they irritate the crap out of you

Bananas; the older they get, the less firm they are

Weather; nothing can be done to change them

Blenders; you need one but you're not quite sure why

Mascara; they usually run off at the first sign of emotion

Popcorn; they satisfy you, but only for a little while

Lava Lamps; fun to look at but not very bright

Chocolate Bars; sweet, smooth and they usually head right for your hips

Commercials; you can't believe a word they say

Department Stores; their clothes are always 1/2 off

Government Bonds; they take soooooo long to mature

Snowstorms; you never know when they're coming, how many inches you'll get, or how long it will last

Parking Spots; all the good ones are taken and the rest are handicapped

Leetle · « **Reply #2 on:** 01. September 2010, 01:56:42 (01:56 AM) »

Quote from: Writdoer on 31. August 2010, 22:09:32 (10:09 PM)

...
(1) Fine : This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.
(2) Five Minutes : If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.
(3) Nothing : This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.
(4) Go Ahead : This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!
(5) Loud Sigh : This isn't actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)
(6) That's Okay : This is one of the most dangerous statements a woman can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.
(7) Thanks : A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say you're welcome. (I want to add in a clause here - This is true, unless she says 'Thanks a lot' - that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say 'you're welcome' . that will bring on a 'whatever').
( Whatever : Is a woman's way of saying F-- YOU!
(9) Don't worry about it, I got it : Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's wrong?' For the woman's response refer to # 3.
...

1) I Win, I really don't care if you think I'm right or not. You said fine so act like it.
2) Five minutes? Ok, I'll give you 10, if you're not ready then, im gone. Really. Next time you will either actually be ready in 5 or give a more reasonable expectation. And yes I will take the bitching for doing it ending up in #1.
3) We know this. I will ask you once more having my complete attention towards you. Either you will talk or still say nothing. If it's still nothing, I will start to guess until you concede and tell me or end up laughing.
4) Depends on the situation, sometimes I will, sometimes I won't. Usually if I don't, you will end up wishing I did.
5) We know, we feel the same, we just don't make some weird sighing noise.
6) I personally dont settle for okay, so its not a valid end of the discussion.
7) the word can be said in a million (ok maybe not that many) different ways, the tone will define the actual meaning. The You're welcome comment is ment to get under your skin, we do know sarcasm. You just introduced us.

I win. end of discussion, time for other things! Oh and thats after I think "F U too"

.
9) Finally, goal achieved. Not asking What's Wrong for at least a month.

Yea thats my broken english for ya at 2am

Thunderkitty · « **Reply #3 on:** 01. September 2010, 17:02:56 (05:02 PM) »

lol love it Writ!! <3

Writdoer · « **Reply #4 on:** 08. September 2010, 01:35:20 (01:35 AM) »

<a href="http://www.youtube.com/v/HtvIYRrgZ04&rel=1" target="_blank">http://www.youtube.com/v/HtvIYRrgZ04&rel=1</a>

Leetle · « **Reply #5 on:** 08. September 2010, 02:17:07 (02:17 AM) »

Aww, not again!

I still want to see the ingame footage of that actual fight. Such a simple fight yet so many people still know how to fuck it up. That's WoW for ya.

Author Topic: Random stuff I stole. copy and paste ftw (Read 7871 times)

Writdoer

Random stuff I stole. copy and paste ftw

Writdoer

Re: Random stuff I stole. copy and paste ftw

Leetle

Re: Random stuff I stole. copy and paste ftw

Thunderkitty

Re: Random stuff I stole. copy and paste ftw

Writdoer

Re: Random stuff I stole. copy and paste ftw

Leetle

Re: Random stuff I stole. copy and paste ftw

ShoutBox!

User

Recent